Currently Listening 13 Songs By Fugazi see related

Holy Shit!!!  With a capital fucking S!!!  I can't believe what's going on...  Through the midst of all of this misunderstanding and longing for what I can never have... (****, lol)  I just got the greatest news I've gotten in my entire life!  (Other than when I got hired on as an intern for the farm years ago@ ( http://www.angelicorganics.com ))  Is the suspense killing you?  I hope so!  But not in the dead kind of killing way, just in the "sigh" kind of killing way...  I'm gonna be a MODEL!!!  I'M GONNA BE A MODEL!!!  This fucking rocks!  In a matter of a few months (or less, depending on how well I get my shit together)  I am going to be getting paid for being beautiful!  (and I don't even wear make-up!)  CAN I GET A "HELL YEA???"  I am so stoked, I don't know what to do or say, except a big thank you to the company for agreeing to pay me for showing off my body, which I would do more often if I actually had the opportunity (hint, hint...****!)  I can't give company names or details just yet, atleast until I know whether or not I can make mention...but believe me, it's finally come true!   So please forgive my candidness about the situation, but I have to say, I really don't have the money to be stepping on the toes of a huge corporation that could sue my balls off, even though I don't even have a pair!  Thanks everyone who is still around, and for the ones I have neglected...  I will return.  I apologize for my absence.  All things in due time...  Besides, I will be forced to be online a lot more often soon, so there should be no doubt about the previous statement!  I love you all, and especially the ones (((KudzaiMyKizzleofSizzle)))  (((Sir...IrishPolish-PalOfAllPals-Pogue)))  (((Mrs.KristaKnockYourSocksOffChickenLittleWaugh)))   (((MarshallKickAssBearLovin'MotherFucker)))  (((ThomasPrinceofPaladinGraham,PalaceOfStars,AndAllThingsCelestiallyDestinedToGrow)))  (((JaseTheChaseIsOnSoGrabYourFuckingMuseAndGo)))  (((Bobby-StarterOfMySureFire,InseperableTillTheEnd)))  (((Teddy-BaggsTheWholeWideWorldWithJustOneFinger...OrPoem)))  (((Miss-tressOfTheDarkAndNotSoDark,RulingBeautyOfTheUnderAndOverWorlds)))  (((KelOfMyDeepestHeartWellAndBestPoetryTagEVER!!!)))  (((TitchieDivineAndSolidGrace+UniversalKnowledge)))  (((MarcLaird&LovePoetOfMyDesignAndHomeAwayFromHomeAndOh-Oh-Woah-TheSweetestThingU2Style)))  (((Mrs.SarverChiropracticEnergyHealingWonderousPhenomenon)))  (((Ms.SashaAngelOfAllThingsLovableAndWickedlyDesired)))  (((Ms.ButtercupOfTheSensualAndAltruisticFire)))  (((MyEncaseInIce-QueenOfTheOneAndOnlyYOU)))  (((QtongZenMasterFlexBadassWhoDoesn'tEvenKnowIt)))  (((JamieAquaMarineGreenArmyGirlWearin'HerMedalsWithPride)))  who make me feel soooo beautiful, inside and out...  I wouldn't have had the confidence to be what I am now, if you hadn't been there for me THEN, when I was lost and low, abused and insecure...  Mr. Causey, you are on my list of people to thank too...  And ****, so are you, but you're still a fuck.  And I love you.  And I would do anything for you even though you don't see it.  Or maybe you do and you just don't care.  FUCK!!!  Sensory Overload!  Begin the madness!!!  ...and don't forget to RECOGNIZE!!!  I love you guys, and thanks again for the support!!!

Peace Forever,

~Jessickah

P.S.~  My new profile pic is one of the three that got me this kick-ass job!  (I just had to share it...)  And I'll put the other two in the body, right here...

Currently Listening Misery Is a Butterfly By Blonde Redhead see related

He says...
Imagine.
And all of the people
were home again.

Sinatra was there,
his showgirls
bedazzled
by a year
full of newness
and sorrow...

Confusion-
I want to be in New York,
I want to be in the city.

So desolate,
so allive...

A New Year.
A Finishing Dream...
A Touch.

Fitting in
was like feeling good,
and I want to know
how well we fit.
(How you fit in?)

Angel,
I can feel the mercy
in your sighs...

You are city
on the rocks,
a pinstrip smile
laced and insatiable.

Bury the butterfly
as it is,
don't destroy the wings.

Let today
be a sign
for the coming
of tomorrow...

As love poetry
may stop and start,
let this never end.

My song
is every song,
come over now
and I'll sing it all to you...

I know you won't,
but still.

Let me wait a little longer.

Let me know
that the meeting
is not worth mention.

Let me know
that to feel this way
is useless
and wrong.

Avoid the question
with another question.

Let me see no end.

Isn't this what I wanted after all?

~©Jessickah

Currently Listening Like the Exorcist but More Breakdancing By Murder By Death see related

Mania drives us all.

There is something

beneath the surface

untamed and true

that knows its purpose,

whether lost,

profound,

or drunk,

and even sometimes,

 all of these.

Love can be so much

a driving vessel,

as well as a taming leash-

there is so much pouring going on  

that the libations run low,

but can never dry up

when the heart is full

and knows only

true passion

in the scheme of brilliance.

The dancing has begun.

Let my soul release.

Let yourself

become one

with me,

I can be your path

your truth,

your destiny.

The choice is too late,

am I too late?

In deciding,

I am neither.

There is only longing

for the One,

the Sacred,

the Only,

the Beloved.

Let me love you.

Let me, in this,

Be Someone…

Be it not the wholesome soulforce of Sufism, I know not the rhyme or reason.  Let me just say that I am there now, and forever shall I wish it to be.  Fuck work, fuck idealism, fuck life right now as it may be.  I would change everything just to Be.  Zorro (duuuh, my kitten, lol) understands.  He is there with me all the way, in every way.  Going through this is like experiencing a tsunami in my heart.  It wears on it no direction, no driving source...  Only love.  So be it.  Thank you Mevlana...  I feel your base and source.  It will stay and rest beside me until I am old and worn.  Tattered and scorned.  I am faithfully and blindly in love.  With who?  No one.  With what?  I haven't the slightest clue.  With myself?  Who knows, for I am only a messenger to the sorrow and divine joy of existance.  For what cause?  The divine of our collective all.  Would I trade it all to know any reason why, to know how it all has come to me so quickly and so lucidly confusing and truthful?  Never.  The mystery of knowing without knowing is a dream that I will never wish to awaken from.  This love is never ending.  Be it partial, or whole, just a taste is all I need to go on living.

~©Jessickah '05

Currently Listening You Come Before You By Poison the Well see related

In etchings,
in paper waves
I may ink
and pinpoint my own.

The dull got sharp
about sixteen days ago
when my heart
found evergreen
and manifested
a new design.

It was then
that statues
were moving
in other realms,
just dreaming
of the forest closures...

If it was in sin
that we were born,
then in sin
we shall remain.
There is no repentance.
There is no death.

So anchor your ships, sailors
commandeer your way
to the edges of evergreen,
signal with flame
that you have arrived
and we will depart
on your journey.

Give no other man
the right to claim
what you have,
instead~
share it
with all who bare
your openness.

Give them seeds
and you shall find
that the world
is forever green...

~Jessickah © 2005

Currently Listening Timesbold By Timesbold see related

Fresh off the press of Poetry Tag...  Though I don't know why...

...Only silence.
Only in tomorrow's limbs
will I feel the ache
of long goodnights
that separate the sea
from its many creatures.
...And I will swim outward
and inward.
I will let the schools swarm
and the predators fight
their conclusive battles.
I will touch only a wish,
and linger there
until morning.
And while tonight
was only a blank page
and an unasked question,
waves of glory will bow
and brave the spotlights
for one more round
and one more season
in deception.
Only in silence
does the truth realy speak
the words we have swallowed
for the loss
and for the bitter taste of regret.

~© Jessickah 10/05